Missing Maggie

Our first family dog was an English Springer Spaniel, Maggie.  Maggie was with us for about 10 years.  We adopted her in 2000.  Maggie changed me from a non-dog person to a dog person.  I really miss Maggie.  Especially in winter.  Maggie loved to run with me, and she loved to run in winter.  She could handle really cold weather, and she never turned down an opportunity.  I'm out running eight miles a day this month and I could really use the companionship.  I am missing Maggie.

In March 2009, I wrote a small note on observations made while running with Maggie.  I'm posting it here again and remembering my good friend.
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I've been running with my dog, Maggie, for several years now. Not often enough, granted, but enough to begin formulating some basic principles of canine cognition derived from simple behavioral observations. These aren't really "rules", but they seem (to me) beyond hypothesis now, so I will call them "theories" and they can really be simplified to a few basic mathematical relationships.

X = 1 + Y

This is the First Principle of Behavior for Dogs running with non-Dog people. Simply put, Y = the number of plastic bags carried by the human setting out on a run with his/her dog and X = the number of times the canine running companion will decide to need one. This is a very simple relationship and doesn't necessarily require complex thought. It does require astute visual skills on the part of the dog though and a touch of ESP to know exactly how many bags you have on your person. Not to mention some hard to explain control of certain bodily functions.

What becomes quickly evident to the dog is that humans usually soon realize this is going on and simply begin carrying more bags. At which point, the game changes for the dog...

leading to the next relationship

B = A - C

Where A is the distance between trash receptacles, B is the distance to the next trash receptacle and C is the maximum distance a particular human will return to the last trash receptacle. Dogs are able to solve this relationship to maximize B.

Put simply, a dog will empirically determine the longest distance on any given course that it's running companion will need to carry a full bag and will inevitably stop at that precise place to take care of business. This really does require complex thought, memorizing routes and placement of trash receptacles - often over multiple different running courses.

This is actually bordering on "LAW" with my dog, Maggie. She has an unbelievable ability to maximize the carrying distance no matter where I run. Behind those sweet and innocent eyes there is devious calculation occurring with sinister precision.

Don't get me wrong, I love my dog, Maggie -- perhaps even more now that I've figured out the little games she plays and have learned to laugh along with her. Here's to you, Maggie. You've won this chess match and I concede with a smile to the higher mind.