Partaking of the Divine Nature

I am reading Merton again this weekend.  New Seeds of Contemplation.  It has been a while since I’ve read New Seeds.  I can’t point to exactly why the Spirit led me to this little book again just now, but I have a distinct sense that God is telling me something profound, something that I need.  Not something I need to know as much as something I need to experience, no something I need to pursue.  I’m afraid that I can’t put it into words.  You will seek me, and you will find me, when you seek me with your whole heart. 

  

Yesterday I read and re-read “Things in Their Identity”, a reflection on the nature of created things and on who we are in light of Who God is.  Much of the chapter is quite abstract and would be difficult to explain here, but the words prepared my heart somehow for a pre-dawn encounter this morning with a remarkable biblical truth I had not seen before.

“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature.” II Peter 1:3-4.

We are called to the glory and excellence of God, granted His precious and very great promises, so that we may partake of the divine nature.  We are meant to be drawn to God, to commune with God, to partake of His divine nature – an eternal, indestructible, immutable, unblemished nature.  We are not who we are meant to be.  In Christ we are becoming who we were meant to be, by His divine power, becoming partakers of the divine nature.

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From New Seeds of Contemplation, Things in Their Identity. Thomas Merton

“This particular tree will give glory to God by spreading out its roots in the earth and raising its branches into the air and the light in a way that no other tree before or after it ever did or ever will do… each particular being, in its individuality, its concrete nature and entity, with all its own characteristics and its private qualities and its own inviolable identity, gives glory to God by being precisely what He wants it to be here and now, in the circumstances ordained for it by His Love and His infinite Art.

The special clumsy beauty of this particular colt on this April day in this field under these clouds is a holiness consecrated to God by His own creative wisdom and it declares the glory of God… The little yellow flowers that nobody notices on the edge of that road are saints looking up into the face of God… The lakes hidden among the hills are saints, and the sea too is a saint who praises God without interruption in her majestic dance.

The great, gashed, half-naked mountain is another of God’s saints.  There is no other like him.  He is alone in his own character; nothing else in the world ever did or ever will imitate God in quite the same way.  That is his sanctity.

But what about you? What about me?

For us, holiness is more than humanity.  If we are never anything more than people, we will not be able to offer to God the worship of our imitation… God leaves us free to be whatever we like.  We can be ourselves or not, as we please.  We are at liberty to be real, or to be unreal.

We are free beings and children of God.  This means to say that we should not passively exist, but actively participate in His creative freedom, in our own lives, and the lives of others, by choosing the truth.  To put it better, we are even called to share with God the work of creating the truth of our identity.  We can evade this responsibility by playing with masks, and this pleases us because it can appear at times to be a free and creative way of living.  It is quite easy, it seems to please everyone.  But in the long run the cost and the sorrow come very high.  To work out our own identity in God, which the Bible calls ‘working out our salvation,’ is a labor that requires sacrifice and anguish, risk and many tears.  It demands close attention to reality at every moment, and great fidelity to God as He reveals Himself, obscurely, in the mystery of each new situation.  The secret of my full identity is hidden in Him.  He alone can make me who I am, or rather who I will be… But unless I desire this identity and work to find it with Him and in Him, the work will never be done.

My false and private self is the one who wants to exist outside the reach of God’s will and God’s love – outside of reality and outside of life.  And such a self cannot help but be an illusion.

I use up my life in the desire for pleasures and the thirst for experiences, for power, honor, knowledge and love, to clothe this false self and construct its nothingness into something objectively real.  And I wind experiences around myself and cover myself with pleasures and glory like bandages in order to make myself perceptible to myself and to the world, as if I were an invisible body that could only become visible when something visible covered its surface.

The secret of my identity is hidden in the love and mercy of God.

Ultimately the only way that I can be myself is to become identified with Him in Whom is hidden the reason and fulfillment of my existence… if I find Him, I will find myself…

But though this looks simple, it is in reality immensely difficult.  In fact, if I am left to myself it will be utterly impossible… there is no human and rational way in which I can arrive at that contact, that possession of Him, which will be the discovery of Who He really is and of Who I am in Him.

That is something that no man can ever do alone.

The only One Who can teach me to find God is God, Himself, Alone.

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His divine power has granted to us all things pertaining to life and godliness…

Uncle Jack

My Uncle Jack died this past week.  He was 67 years old.  I found out as I arrived in Zimbabwe.  I’ve been thinking about Uncle Jack a lot this week.  There are two memories I have that really capture what he meant to me.

 

Uncle Jack was my biology teacher in 10^th grade and the high school principal when I was in 11^th and 12^th.  For some reason, my most vivid memory of Uncle Jack was a very simple encounter from high school.  One day as I was walking down the main corridor of FHS toward the office and the main entrance, Uncle Jack caught me from behind, put his arm across my back and gripped my shoulder while we walked together down the hall.  I have no idea what we talked about; but I was a shy, insecure kid, and that simple act never left me.  I have a feeling that he had some idea he was sharing with me, or maybe he was just checking on how I was doing; but I like to think that we were conspiring together to do something wonderful.  Perhaps we are still carrying it out.

The last memory I have of Uncle Jack was from Josh and Marni’s wedding last September.  As always, he met me with a firm handshake and several questions about what I was doing.  He listened intently with his mouth partway open and his eyes focused on me as if I were the only person in the room telling him the most fascinating thing he had ever heard.  When I had finished, he leaned back slightly with that same expression and then the unforgettable smile reflexively took over his face and a slow shake of his head communicated his approval without words. 

Reflecting on Uncle Jack, I remember something I first realized upon the death of my college advisor and mentor several years ago.  There is no higher honor in life than the affirmation of someone you esteem highly.  My uncle had a way of bringing forward the best of my character and affirming the good.  I will always be grateful for him and will remember him with honor, respect and joy.

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“Love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” I Corinthians 13:7

Running in the Cold

I have to admit, I feel a little guilty writing about running in the cold this winter.  I mean, I’ve had my share of sub-zero runs, but I’ve also been away from Minnesota the majority of the time.  However, given that winter is still hanging on, I thought I’d share a few tips on running in the cold that I’ve learned by trial-and-error over the last 25 years running outside in winter in Minneapolis.

1.       Try to go out into the wind so the wind is at your back on the way home.  I know this is not always possible, but it makes a big difference if you can plan your course right.  Beside the mental “let’s get the tough part over first” trick, you really don’t want to work up a sweat before you turn into the wind.  Of course if you go out into the wind, your backside will get chilled on the way home, but your face will thank you.

2.       Tips for running long:

·         You can run long distances in the cold, you just need to do some planning and be careful.  I’ve found that if I carry a couple bucks, I can stop at a convenience store for bottled water.  It can be tricky to get yourself back outside after you finish the water to do the last 8 miles, but it’s doable.  I like to run the lakes, and from my house to the lakes and around Harriet and Calhoun is 17 miles.  I hit the BP station on the NW corner of Calhoun.  I did this one Saturday a few years ago on a -12 F day.  Probably the coldest long run I’ve done.

·         If you need to go longer, I’d recommend doing short loops and stopping by the house.  If things go bad, you can always drop out.  You also can get water and a change of clothes mid-run.  I learned this trick on a 20 mile New Year’s eve run a few years ago.  I just needed to log 20 miles, so I wasn’t worried about the time.  Changing layers on top after 12 miles made a huge difference for the final 8, especially since it was dark and the temp was dropping into the single digits.

3.       Find a friend who likes to run in the cold.  I have Randall Huskamp to thank for this.  I used to meet Randall at 6:00 AM at Lake Calhoun to run laps in the dark on Saturday mornings.  6:00 is the coldest part of the day in January, and we had a few -15 F outings.  The wind really gets you on Lake Calhoun too.  Randall clued me in to wind-blocker briefs.  More on that later.  BTW, we would meet at 6:00 so that Randall could be done in time to bike 100 miles with some buddies.  Cycling long in the cold - THAT is crazy.

4.       Snot will freeze inside your nose but don’t worry it loosens up again later.  At least at the temperatures I’ve run in.

5.       If it is -20 F and dark outside, be very careful where you go and let someone know your route.  Try to stick to paths where cars are going by or someone is likely to see you and wear visible clothing.  If you slip and fall or pull a muscle, you don’t have a lot of time to find someplace warm.  I pulled a calf on a 4 mile run once and had to walk the last 1.5 miles home on one of these nights.  Let’s just say my hands weren’t happy with me.

6.       My eyelashes freeze shut at around -5 F.  First time this happened, it was a little concerning, but I soon realized that it wasn’t anything to really worry about.  If it is bothering you, you can press your mitten on your eye for a minute to melt it off, but icy eyelashes look cool, so I usually just go with it unless my vision is too impaired.

7.       Tips on clothing:

·         This is obviously the biggest factor to consider.  You need to dress so that you are cold when you start because you don’t want to overheat later on.  And yes, you can overheat even if it is -10 F outside if you are overdressed.  This is really trial and error, but obviously, layering and staying away from cotton base layers are sort of the main things I’d suggest.  Beyond that, I’ll mention a few things I’ve figured out that I really like.

·         Polypropylene long underwear.  Must have for me.  A good pair of polypro long johns and a light or mid weight pair of Sporthills takes me from 30 down to -5 F comfortably. 

·         Heavy weight Sporthills for when it is cold, say -5 F and below.  I only use these running a few times a year because it has to be cold enough or I overheat in them, but they work great as a base layer for ice-fishing too and they work for recreational X-country skiing at 15 F and below, so they are a little multi-purpose and worth the investment if you like winter outdoor activity.

·         I need to use mittens from 25 F and below.  I’ve frozen my fingers enough times that they now turn white and go numb if they get moderately cold.  I use a pair of Saucony mittens that are awesome.  My hands are sweating from 25 to 15 F, just right from 15 to -10 F, and below that I put a pair of choppers over the top and I’m good to go.  The choppers look a little bulky, but honestly, there aren’t that many people out there on the days you need them, and at -20 nobody is really any cooler than anybody else anyway.

·         Polypro face mask – this is really one of the key things that enables me to run below 0 F.  I like the face mask that has Velcro in back.  This really helps your cheeks and your ears (the mask tucks up under my hat to give another layer on my ears). The main problem for me is that my glasses fog with the mask on, so it’s one or the other for me.  If in doubt I stick the mask in my pocket and see how it goes.  In a bind, the polypro face mask can also be used effectively to protect other vulnerable anatomical areas.  I had to loan one mid-run to a running buddy for this purpose a few years ago so I know this can work.  Three miles into a 12 mile run we made that transaction and it saved the day. Here’s hoping you never have to make that call, but if you do, it’s good to know you’ve got a plan B.

·         Windbreaker – something hi-vis if you will run after dark

·         Hats – have a couple options from light to heavy.  I have a good polypro that is good down to 10 F and a fleece hat for below that.

·         Wind-blocker briefs.  Yes, the name says it all.  I have a pair of Brooks wind-blockers and they are incredible.  If it is -10 or colder and windy, I’d also recommend like a Gore-tex shell outer layer to block the wind, but a good pair of wind-blockers goes a long way.  My wife calls these Superman briefs because they look like… well, never mind.  They are not ACTUALLY Superman briefs.  To be Superman briefs they would need to be red, give you X-ray vision, AND the ability to leap tall buildings… and, well, mine are black.

So there you have it.  If you like to run and enjoy the outdoors, or if you are averse to treadmills or don’t have access to one, layer up and give it a try.  With a little precaution and common sense, running in the cold is actually a lot of fun.  Winters in Minneapolis are beautiful and serene and wonderful to experience while running.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Blessed is the one who considers the poor

I spent the summer of 1991 as a volunteer youth worker running a day camp at the First Church of Love, Faith and Deliverance in the Strawberry Mansion neighborhood of Philadelphia.  There were ten of us ministering out of our church, and about a dozen similar teams around the city.  I worked with the first graders.  Wonderful kids.  Three of them worked their way into my heart and have been a part of my prayer life ever since.

One Saturday toward the end of summer, our team took a bus downtown to see the city.  We spent some time walking down sixth street, I think it was; sort of a trendy, uptown sort of place with interesting shops.  I remember wandering into a few stores with my friends.  None of us had much money, but it was fun to hang out with this great group of people I had spent two months living and working with.

Toward the end of our afternoon, my team turned into one particular shop, but I stayed outside to wait.  I think my interest in window shopping had waned, and it was a beautiful day.  I had one dollar on my person – bus fare back to our neighborhood.  I noticed a man sitting on the sidewalk nearby, panhandling.  We were both alone waiting on the sidewalk, so I said hello and introduced myself, apologizing that I didn’t have anything to give him as I needed my one dollar bus fare.  What happened next changed the direction of my life.

The stranger I had just met said, “Mike, that is OK.  You stopped to talk with me.  You recognized me here and took time to introduce yourself.”  Then he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a ragged Gideon New Testament, the little pocket version with the Psalms and Proverbs at the end.  He flipped to Psalm 41:1 and read “Blessed is the one who considers the poor!  In the day of trouble the Lord delivers him; the Lord protects him and keeps him alive; he is called blessed in the land.”  He thanked me and blessed me with a smile and a friendly handshake.

The aftermath of that few minute exchange on a Philadelphia sidewalk was far-reaching, is still far-reaching.  Personally, it was a prophetic confirmation of a growing call to spend myself on behalf of the hungry.  It remains a mysterious signpost for me, this seemingly chance encounter.  But more importantly, it re-defined the meaning of this calling, re-defined perhaps how I considered the poor.  I still move and act in a highly abstract realm, life is not terribly different for me day to day.  I have to remind myself from time to time of the purpose of the work – trying to increase the productivity of seeds being grown by the poorest farmers in the world, hoping the effort yields additional grain for food and income.  The work itself is complex and scientific, with workplace dynamics and donor requirements and intercultural exchanges.  But the beauty of this promise from Psalm 41 has never lost its profound impact: consider the poor, recognize the person in front of you and introduce yourself.  Regardless of what you can or cannot do for him or her in the external, you can always give dignity and respect and consideration.

And you never know what unbelievably valuable things they may give you in return.      

A man of noble character

It is difficult to understate the influence of people of character.  I know that I am influenced by some people in ways I can not articulate.  My interactions with these people change me profoundly without my conscious awareness.  Only when I sit quietly to reflect on one of these relationships does the impact really become clear.  There are people who inspire me to compassion or honesty or humility or faithfulness.  Others inspire diligence or commitment or joy or optimism.  My father-in-law, John Urheim, inspires nobility and courage.  It is really impossible for me to truly communicate the influence John has had on me.  I don’t know that I have met anyone who, upon deciding upon a good course of action, a right course of action, has more single-mindedly responded with determination and courage than my father-in-law John.  Knowing John makes me want to do the right thing by people, and to do it with unwavering commitment.

In the context of our relationship, the defining chapter of John’s character was written when he married Yvonne and became a step-father to Whitney and Carrie.  Less than a year after this happy event, Yvonne contracted cancer and died leaving John broken-hearted and alone with two little girls.  John responded the way that he does -- he decided to do the best for Whitney and Carrie and to do it with all his energy.  He formally adopted them and committed himself to protect and provide for them with the determination and resolve which undoubtedly characterize his person.

Several years later, I had the good fortune of falling in love with John’s little girl, Carrie.  I, of course, had no indication how John would influence me, but over time I came to see how John lived, how he made decisions, and how he committed himself to those he loved.  By the time I came to know John, he had remarried, and I have watched John live respectfully, joyfully and lovingly with Maxine for over twenty years.  As part of John's family, I have watched him be a committed friend and a loving Grandfather.  I have seen him overcome personal challenges with patience and grace.

John has been the center of the Urheim family, a collection of people with no biological connectivity save the full-sib relationship of Carrie and Whit.  It has been so appropriate for us to be strung together by the magnanimity of John’s loving character.  Like John, I have no biological offspring, and like John, my family was expanded through adoption.  I only hope that like John, my parenting will be hallmarked by courage and commitment and the resolve to do what is right.

Grateful for my Father-in-law, John Urheim.

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“Then I thought, ‘I shall die in my nest, and I shall multiply my days as the sand,

My roots spread out to the waters, with dew all night on my branches,

My glory fresh with me, and my bow ever new in my hand.’

Men listened to me and waited and kept silence for my counsel.

After I spoke they did not speak again, and my word dropped upon them.

They waited for me as for the rain, and they opened their mouths as for the spring rain.

I smiled on them when they had no confidence, and the light of my face they did not cast down.”

Job 29:21-24

Missing Maggie

Our first family dog was an English Springer Spaniel, Maggie.  Maggie was with us for about 10 years.  We adopted her in 2000.  Maggie changed me from a non-dog person to a dog person.  I really miss Maggie.  Especially in winter.  Maggie loved to run with me, and she loved to run in winter.  She could handle really cold weather, and she never turned down an opportunity.  I'm out running eight miles a day this month and I could really use the companionship.  I am missing Maggie.

In March 2009, I wrote a small note on observations made while running with Maggie.  I'm posting it here again and remembering my good friend.
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I've been running with my dog, Maggie, for several years now. Not often enough, granted, but enough to begin formulating some basic principles of canine cognition derived from simple behavioral observations. These aren't really "rules", but they seem (to me) beyond hypothesis now, so I will call them "theories" and they can really be simplified to a few basic mathematical relationships.

X = 1 + Y

This is the First Principle of Behavior for Dogs running with non-Dog people. Simply put, Y = the number of plastic bags carried by the human setting out on a run with his/her dog and X = the number of times the canine running companion will decide to need one. This is a very simple relationship and doesn't necessarily require complex thought. It does require astute visual skills on the part of the dog though and a touch of ESP to know exactly how many bags you have on your person. Not to mention some hard to explain control of certain bodily functions.

What becomes quickly evident to the dog is that humans usually soon realize this is going on and simply begin carrying more bags. At which point, the game changes for the dog...

leading to the next relationship

B = A - C

Where A is the distance between trash receptacles, B is the distance to the next trash receptacle and C is the maximum distance a particular human will return to the last trash receptacle. Dogs are able to solve this relationship to maximize B.

Put simply, a dog will empirically determine the longest distance on any given course that it's running companion will need to carry a full bag and will inevitably stop at that precise place to take care of business. This really does require complex thought, memorizing routes and placement of trash receptacles - often over multiple different running courses.

This is actually bordering on "LAW" with my dog, Maggie. She has an unbelievable ability to maximize the carrying distance no matter where I run. Behind those sweet and innocent eyes there is devious calculation occurring with sinister precision.

Don't get me wrong, I love my dog, Maggie -- perhaps even more now that I've figured out the little games she plays and have learned to laugh along with her. Here's to you, Maggie. You've won this chess match and I concede with a smile to the higher mind.

Of Motives and Immortality

Twenty two years ago, a beautiful girl gave me a Christmas gift that would change my life forever.  Perhaps she did not know then how this gift would impact her also.  In late November of 1991, I asked Carrie Urheim to accompany me to a Christmas concert.  Soon afterward we fell in love.  This wonderful young woman gave me a book for Christmas that year, a book that I have read through over and over.  I’ve worn the cover off the paperback copy she gave to me.

I’ve thought often about which books have influenced me most, and the older I get the easier it is for me to answer.  The first six or eight times I read Purity of Heart, I struggled to capture the meaning, to follow the arguments, to understand the logic and the language.  But each time I read it, a new paragraph or two makes sense to me, and the old familiar ones do not lose their sage, searching power.  I now read this little book about once a year, and never without my journal nearby.  I would wish to liken the book to an old friend; and perhaps for the penitent, it most certainly is.  But for the active one, in the bustle of life, the words of S.K. are anything but friendly.  I rather more accurately liken this little book to a spinning grindstone upon which Kierkegaard alternately rotates and presses the thoughts and intents of my heart against the Eternal; simultaneously exposing impure motives and sharpening the axe head of commitment and purpose.  I never read this book without pride and falsehood splintering away with sparks flying.

Time does not here permit me to elaborate on the various encounters I’ve had with these pages.  Perhaps I will one day have opportunity and perhaps not.  Those stories will be written in eternity where I will of course give account as the solitary individual encountering signposts on the journey.  For now though, I will leave the reader with an excerpt from the final paragraph and an invitation to carefully consider the words of James 4:8, the point of origin of Kierkegaard’s discourse – Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.  Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.  

“Father in Heaven! What is a man without Thee!  What is all that he knows, vast accumulation though it be, but a chipped fragment if he does not know Thee!  What is all his striving, could it even encompass the world, but a half-finished work if he does not know Thee:  Thee the One, who art one thing and who art all!  So may Thou give to the intellect, wisdom to comprehend that one thing; to the heart, sincerity to receive this understanding; to the will, purity that wills only one thing…  Oh, Thou that givest both the beginning and the completion, give Thou victory in the day of need so that what neither a man’s burning wish nor his determined resolution may attain to, may be granted unto him in the sorrowing of repentance: to will only one thing.” -- Purity of Heart is to Will One Thing, Kierkegaard